Thursday, April 7, 2011
Public Service Announcement
If you're planning on visiting Washington, D.C. this weekend you might want to consider rescheduling because it looks like the place will be on shutdown for the immediate future. Perhaps Memorial Day weekend or the 4th of July would be a better time.
In the mean time for my fellow non-essential feds, here is my personal Furlough Preparedness/Survival List:
10) Buy bulk packs of Ramen Noodles.
9) Collect coupon inserts from Sunday papers left at Starbucks.
8) Take showers with clothes on (washing me and clothes at the same time).
7) Set out empty tubs to collect rain water for household water supplies.
6) Donate blood and plasma for food money.
5) Walk dogs on recycling day so I can collect aluminum cans to sell.
4) Call up local dairy farms to find out where I can score free cow dung to use for heat/cooking purposes.
3) Tie string to teeth and attach to door knob so I can pull out decayed teeth and save on dental costs.
2) Follow Sheryl Crow’s guidelines for toilet paper use: one square at a time.
1) Wear sandwich board sign “Will Furlough for Food” in front the Capitol and the White House.
Hang in there!